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Why You Should Not Watch The Superbowl

Chris Farley As Sports FanTomorrow is Superbowl Sunday and honest to God I could not care less. Actually one thing that is very cool about the Superbowl is that for about a day you can go out into the world and there are no sports fans on the street.

I have never really enjoyed playing sports in school and I still do not like to watch them. Instead of spending time sitting in front of the TV sucking beer watching sports my father read with me and imparted a life long love of reading and learning as well as social responsibility instead of TV sports indused apathy.

Now while the game is only a couple of hours it is surrounded with hours of pre-game and post game commercial blitz. It is the epitome of corporate orgiastic sedentary TV worshiping. Religion is no longer the opiate of the masses but cable TV is. I am going to spend the entire day away from TV on Superbowl Sunday and I plan on having a damn good time.

So I present to you reasons why you should not watch the Superbowl

CBS is going to air millions of dollars of TV ads from drug companies, oil companies, beer companies and the Whitehouse drug councle but they refused to air an anti-Bush commercial by MoveOn.org. There is no drugs, no beer, no violence, no nudity and no profanity but they said that it did not pass their broudcasting standards. All the ads did it talk about how the future generations of Americans are going to be under massive crippiling debt due to the President's ecconomic policy. The truth is obscene but the ad is not. But then again the Bush FCC has had pro-corporate ownership rulings that let them become even more of a monoploly so I can see why critisizing the president would be against their "standards and practices".

Who the hell wants to watch ads? I mean honestly who loves commercials?

Who cares? It does not affect your life. This game does not affect your civil rights, your rent, your taxes

You are not responsible for the proformace of the team so you can not be proud because you did not help them out. You can only be proud of things that you are responsibe for and since you did not actually play in the game you can't really gloat about it. When sports fans go "Wooo We won! Wooo!" it makes me shake my head.

Now..
What to do intstead of of the Superbowl

Learn about the issues for the upcoming election. If as many people who watch the damn game voted this would be a much better country.

Find out about your caucus or primary.

REGISTER TO VOTE.

Read a book.

Go meet chicks.

Go on a date.

Play some videogames.

Go to see a band.

Play with your pets.

Go make pizza from scratch.

Watch the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy marathon.

Go to Disneyland. There will not be a crowd.

Like I said last year

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F**KING MIND! IT IS TV COMMERCIALS FOR F**K'S SAKE! IT IS A WONDERFULL SUNDAY AND YOU ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO WATCHING COMMERICALS! JUMPING JESUS ON A POGO STICK!

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Comments

You have to admit that MoveOn ad was pretty controversial, and raunchy. Thankfully they'll be showing, good, clean high quality TV during half time instead.

http://www.lingeriebowl.com/main.htm

Posted by: kellan at January 31, 2004 8:14 PM

You're right, it's no Stanley Cup playoffs, besides it's 10x as satisfying to win the pool when you weren't even watching the superbowl.

Posted by: InsaneDavid at January 31, 2004 8:21 PM

I actually was going to comment on this but I was so f*cking pissed at the obvious predictability of Jake bashing the super bowl that I laughed and decided to leave it as it has always has been. Give it a rest Jake.

Posted by: pete at January 31, 2004 11:02 PM

I don't think it's fair to say you're either a well read intelligent person or you're a sports fan. My dad read with me every night and it gave me a life long love of reading, but he also shared his love of sports with me. I like watching sports. I'm not nutso about it. Just my two cents.

Posted by: brendoman at January 31, 2004 11:15 PM

Easy for me to avoid. ;p

Anyways, what's playing afterwards?

Posted by: Matt at January 31, 2004 11:29 PM

I actually have a friend who is just descustingly entranced by advertisements... He bought a TVO just so he could watch the superbowl "without the annoying football" which is actually a direct quote. So there you have it... someone who is dumbenough to want to watch advertising.

Posted by: shawn at February 1, 2004 2:14 AM

I find it amusing that you complain about people wanting to watch commercials when you link to a car commercial in your side link-blog. You should have just stuck with "football's boring" and have been done with it!

/me seconds InsaneDavid.
Stanley Cup is where it's at.

Posted by: nowak at February 1, 2004 8:23 AM

Nowak-
Actually the commercial that Jake links to is a joke commercial and not a real one. It is f-ing hilarious so clickety-click-click on it.
The superbowl is good clean fun Jake. It does not mean you are a neanderthal if you watch it. Sh*t, I will tell you one thing....most of the folks watching the superbowl probably do not want to see negative, depressing ads during the superbowl and CBS reserves the right to refuse service to anyone they want. If you want to rail against corporate media then ask yourself how moveon.org got the 2,000,000$ to air it and tell me how they are so big and rich now. Corporate funding. John Kerry is number 1 for corporate handouts as well. Acting like it is an exclusive thing is just not accurate. Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. pfffththththttt!

Posted by: pete at February 1, 2004 9:28 AM

My mistake. I saw "commercial" and mentally ignored that link.

Posted by: nowak at February 1, 2004 11:21 AM

Where is this again?

Posted by: shawn at February 1, 2004 1:24 PM

Who cares...
anti-commercialism? how about you telling us about so many different technical gadgets and how we must pick "this" up. And of all the suggestions you gave us, none of them have links except for the "register to vote" and "queer eye" (queer eye is a damn good show)

oh and what do you mean cable tv replacing religion for the masses... I actually believe its the internet. Less men are watching tv than ever before, because of the internet. And videogames are much more fun than television.

And since this is your little section of "cyberspace", who cares about football, or reading. This site still rules and I think its great youre pissing people off!

Rock on brother!

Posted by: Ray at February 1, 2004 1:32 PM

Sheesh, I don't care for the Super Bowl either, but it's just entertainment. Playing video games doesnt affect your civil liberties, rent, or taxes either. Nor does other people watching the super bowl affect you. Different strokes for different folks.

Posted by: Ken at February 1, 2004 3:27 PM

I can't say that I'm big on football, though generally the Super Bowl is the one game of the year that's more accessible to me because of the commericals. I didn't catch it this year, but I glad I didn't -- that blocking of the MoveOn.org spot is disappointing / alarming.

Posted by: Trapp at February 1, 2004 6:29 PM

Man I knew this post would tick people off. But it was a bit therapeutic. I am just a dork who would rather go to the library than to a professional sports game.

Posted by: Jake at February 1, 2004 8:53 PM

HEY THERE! MY NAME IS ERIKA, I AM 12 YEARS OLD. YOU ARE A VERY VERY WEIRD MAN. WHY WOULD SOMEONE LIKE POLITICS MORE THAN A SUPERBOWL. ME AND MY MOM AND DADDY WATCH IT TOGETHOR, IT IS FUN FOR THE FAMILY AND A VALUABLE EVENT FOR BRINGING US TOGETHER. PLEASE, DO NOT HATE AN EVENT THE MAKES SO MANNY PEOPLE HAPPY. IT'S THE ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITE TIMES TO SPEND WITH MY DADDY. PLEASE, CHANGE YOUR MIND, FOR THE BETTER.

Posted by: ERIKA at February 1, 2004 9:06 PM

You know Erica when I was smaller than you my dad took me to go vote and I was there when he filled out his ballot and he imparted how important it was. The Superbowl is fun but it really does not impact me one way or another. Who wins the election will affect us all.

Posted by: Jake at February 1, 2004 9:54 PM

Hey Erika, Why do you type in all caps? I mean hey....hit the frickin caps lock will ya. Who is your daddy anyway? I do not mean that in a wierd way.
Yes, Jake is a very, very wierd man. Did you know that he suffers from A.D.D. and a rare form of rickets that causes him to get the jitters whenever he watches the 1980s TV show "different strokes" starring:
Gary Coleman as Arnold Jackson

Todd Bridges as Willis Jackson and

Dana Plato as Kimberly Drummond

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/diffrentstrokes.html

Posted by: pete at February 1, 2004 10:05 PM

I am rather well educated. I read, voraciously in fact. But, there is something to be said for watching hot, SEXXY, buff men writhing about in Spandex. I love football. It's kind of called being well-rounded. Ya know? Diversifying your interests. Being eclectic. I get as much satisfaction from finishing a great book, or playing with my pets, going on a date, or going to a concert or live play, as I do from sitting on my rather profound posterior in oversized sweatclothes chugging beer, eating Doritos, and swearing at my TV when some dumbshit drops the ball. It's entertainment just the same.

Posted by: Anna at February 1, 2004 10:42 PM

I am rather well educated. I read, voraciously in fact. But, there is something to be said for watching hot, SEXXY, buff men writhing about in Spandex. I love football. It's kind of called being well-rounded. Ya know? Diversifying your interests. Being eclectic. I get as much satisfaction from finishing a great book, or playing with my pets, going on a date, or going to a concert or live play, as I do from sitting on my rather profound posterior in oversized sweatclothes chugging beer, eating Doritos, and swearing at my TV when some dumbshit drops the ball. It's entertainment just the same.

Posted by: Anna at February 1, 2004 10:43 PM

I have to agree with Brendoman above. Being well-read / socially aware and being a sports fan aren't mutually exlcusive. Just because the typical beer commerical caters to a particular stereotypical slob of a fan doesn't mean all fans are like that. And one's hobbies don't particularly reflect on the person. After all, I still respect you, even if you like playing WWF wrestling games.

Posted by: Jeff at February 2, 2004 7:42 AM

Plus you get to see Janet Jackson expose herself!

Posted by: bob at February 2, 2004 8:09 AM

I'm with Anna and Pete! I spent Saturday afternoon at the 5th Avenue Theatre watching "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" and I spent Sunday afternoon sitting in front of the TV, Doritos in hand, watching the game with my 12 year old son (who couldn't have been more excited about bonding with Mom while watching the big event). I'm proud to say that my son loves football, plays a musical instrument and reads at a 9th grade level. I must be doing something right. Both times were wonderfully enjoyable and will provide great memories for years.

Posted by: puunum at February 2, 2004 9:46 AM

I think that Anna hit the nail right on the head when she pronounced the term "well rounded".
I think that being well rounded is extremely important in life. It might just be the most important thing and social development is HUGE in understanding human relationships and relationships are what life is all about.

Posted by: pete at February 3, 2004 10:11 PM

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