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Review : Tofurky Vegetarian Roast
November is here and Thanksgiving is coming up faster than you think. I have seen Tofurky in the grocery store freezer for a while now but I never tried it. I decided to say what the hell and rolled the dice and cooked one up. It was about ten time better than I had expected and I was more than pleasantly surprised with it's neo-meaty goodness. I am not a vegetarian but being raised on watching Star Trek as a child I wanted to give this fake meat product a try. It is better that Soylent Green I tell you. Just think about it Soylent Turkey.. Mmmnn.
The Tofurky comes in a box and you open it up to find a large frozen sausage like thing on the inside. After you cut the ends off and take off the plastic wrap it looks like a giant uncooked tofu dog but all you have to do is put it on a baking pan and cook it for two hours at 300 degrees ( Fahrenheit for you Canadians and Kiwis) . I also cut up some red potatoes, a sweet onion and carrots and put it down right there in the baking pan. I covered it up with tin foil and went and played Playstation2 for two hours while it cooked. I was blown away at how easy and quick it is. Less than three minutes prep time tops.
It is flavored pressed soy protein and wheat gluten with a core of wild rice stuffing. It has a nice texture to it and it feels more like eating meat than Jello like soft tofu. There is no real chance of getting salmonella. It is pretty low fat, low sodium, and there are no bones and almost no mess at all. If you serve it with a gravy or sauce it is pretty tasty. It is cheaper than getting a real turkey and you can have a big pile of it for dinner on a weeknight with almost no prep time and it is not bad for you at all. It is 100% Vegan and Kosher if you are into that but all I care about is that it is 100% tasty. You get about four servings out of one box full-o roast so there will be some leftovers for lunch. I will have to try a Tofurky and Cranberry Sandwitch.
They also sell Tofurky "Giblet" vegetarian gravy in a frozen tub and it comes highly recommended if you do not baste the Tofurky Roast. They recommend a glaze of orange juice and soy sauce that I will have to try next time.
One time I was at the super market and I overheard this burned-out paranoid hippie rant to his friend that in the future there will be government rationing of meat and food and there will be nothing for the underclass to eat except tofu. Should that paranoid dystopian ranting come true I would welcome it with a smile on my face if Tofurky was on the Soylent Menu.
It is SPACE AGE and Soylent Tasty!
Jake at November 10, 2004 
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Comments
I made the mistake of getting the one that emulated dark meat turkey, bleh! I'm going to test out this one this year. Hopefully this tastes better.
Posted by: jessica at November 10, 2004 9:10 AM
IT'S SOY PRODUCT! SOYLENT FURKY IS SOY PRODUCT!
ahem...
tofurky for my (and a selected unsuspecting partner in crome) tastebuds is on my horizon.
Posted by: WiL at November 10, 2004 11:30 AM
IT'S SOY PRODUCT! SOYLENT FURKY IS SOY PRODUCT!
ahem.
A bit of tofurky for my tastebuds is on the horizon.
Posted by: WiL at November 10, 2004 11:34 AM
It's going to be a great thanksgiving, with bush winning all is right in the world ;)
Posted by: dan at November 10, 2004 8:06 PM
300 degrees Fahrenheit = 148.888889 degrees Celsius.
Because I was bored.
Posted by: Matt at November 11, 2004 11:36 PM
Wouldn't it burst into flames at 300 Celsius.
Posted by: Jake of 8bitjoystick.com at November 12, 2004 12:40 AM
a) I am not sure it would burst into flames at 300 degrees celsius, although were it paper it would do so (as noted famously by Ray Bradbury's F. 451 ...)
b) however, my concern is more with the comments as regards the preparation time. Surely, prep time is what makes cooking fun? De-seeding tomatoes may be time-consuming and boring but it's totally worth it when you end up with the final product.
c) the concept of the detailed work being at least as important as the finished product is central to much of our current thinking - fractals, for example - emergence - the forensic mind
d) I applaud your refusal to accept L33t etc ...
cheerio!
Posted by: dispatx at November 12, 2004 4:13 AM
Some time I like to slow roast a nice well seasoned bird and really take my time to do it well and some times I just want to eat quick.
Aol speek pisses me off more than L337
Posted by: Jake of 8bitjoystick.com at November 12, 2004 10:36 PM
I love Tofurkey too. My friends don't believe me when I describe how good it tastes.
Posted by: Phillustrations at November 15, 2004 4:08 PM
Tofurky is pretty good. I have a recipe that is even better for a turkey-ish vegetarian meal, but Tofurky is easier. :)
If you get the Tofurky feast that comes with the gravy and dumplings, you will be awed by the dumplings. They are REALLY good.
Posted by: litlnemo at November 15, 2004 6:34 PM
