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I am a Movie Food Smuggling Terrorist
I have been wishing my notebook was a bit more portable. Instead of getting a smaller notebook or a WiFi enabled PDA I thought it would be much easier to buy a new backpack designed for carrying notebooks.
I found a very cool JanSport padded laptop courier bag. Not quite a backpack but very cool. It is very comfortable and is easy to get my laptop in and out.
So I got home and loaded it up with my laptop and assorted digital toys and headed out on a bike ride. My bike ride took me by my local movie theater and I saw that a show of Underworld was starting soon. I went across the street to the supermarket and got a takeout sandwich and a can of Pringles for a light dinner. I put the food in my notebook bag and went to the show.
There were a group of older women in front of me in line and they all had large grandma size purses that could conceal their pet dog and an entire roast turkey. There were no problem with them and they went on to see what ever chick flick was playing there. I got there and got out my wallet and pulled out eight bucks for my ticket. The 16 year old acne covered attendant ( I could not tell if it was a guy or a sorta ugly girl ) informed me that they would not let me enter unless i checked my bag with them and they kept it behind the popcorn counter. No lockers no nothing. I told him/her that I had my notebook computer in there and I was not about to just hand it over. I said that I would not trust them with the keys to my car or my credit card and that it was an invasion of my privacy. I also pointed out that purses were exempt regardless of size and that I had no intention of returning to their movie establishment.
Then I stopped by Hollywood Video and rented Doctor Strangelove on DVD instead. The clerk there did not want to confiscate by notebook bag or treat me like a food smuggling terrorist. Now I am going to enjoy my sandwich and movie in the privacy of my own home and I did not have to submit to an impersonal and invasive search and confiscation of my personal effects. What six dollar pop-corn selling food nazis! I mean I don't let my notebook out of my sight when I am going on a flight. If I don't trust the federal homeland security agents with my PC I am sure as hell not going to trust some kid making minimum wage.
Jake at September 26, 2003 
Rants
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Comments
hehe...i understand and respect what you're saying...though i must say, you're funny when you rant :P "food nazis" hehe...too much!
Posted by: lilly at September 26, 2003 10:40 PM
It is 8 bucks for a ticket. 4 bucks for popcorn and 3 bucks for soda and those bastards want to confiscate my bag. Screw them!
Posted by: Jake at September 26, 2003 10:43 PM
My movie theatre won't allow outside food (ever since the 24 hour shop opened next door), but they do not check bags.
Posted by: Matt at September 26, 2003 11:09 PM
Well not all movie theaters are so bad. You know I would buy soda and pop corn there if I think it was half what they are charging. For some reason movie theater food is twice to three times what it would be an a convience store. You know a $20 DVD looks like a good deal when you factor in the price of popcorn and pop at the movies with the tickets.
Posted by: Jake at September 26, 2003 11:25 PM
You should have had the old ladies smuggle the food in for you. Or tape the food to your chest and wear a baggy sweater over it. I often hide food in my jacket. It even has pockets on the inside that can store drinks!
The reason they don't want outside food and the reason they charge such high prices is because movie theaters make almost all their revenue from the sales of snacks. Practically all of the admission money goes to the movie studio. I guess it wasn't always that way because drive-in theaters used to be very successful. Now it is very hard for them to survive because you can drive a whole car full of outside food in and they can't stop you. I wonder if theaters would be more successful if the food was actually priced reasonably.
Posted by: BBQ at September 27, 2003 1:55 AM
I have to agree with you on the invasion of privacy deal. That is crap. I have occassionally been known to smuggle in red vines to the theaters that don't carry the real thing, but carry the nasty imitation twizzlers (or however they are spelled). And yes, the popcorn and soda is way over-priced, however, I don't mind paying for it once in a while when I go see a movie. To me, that is part of the fun of the movie theater :)
Posted by: Mici at September 27, 2003 9:45 AM
MICI,
One time I ate a TWIZZLER and fully chewed it up just like you would any other food. When I went to the bathroom it came out as A WHOLE TWIZZLER AGAIN!!! WTF!!!
I should have taken a picture of it.
Posted by: pete at September 27, 2003 7:54 PM
Thanks for sharing peter!
Posted by: Jake at September 27, 2003 9:25 PM
Well had you made it into the theater, you might be complaining that you paid $8 to see an action thinly veiled with "the world of darkness". I got in for $6 because a friend had some passes, and I'm still upset I payed that much to see that pile of garbage.
Posted by: Bob at September 28, 2003 7:17 AM
OK well I might want to wait until BBQ can rent this movie for free.
Posted by: Jake at September 28, 2003 11:40 AM
I still have a loathing for that lady who made me spill my $3 cup of Coke and never compensated me.
I wanna see Underworld - looks like good escapism.
Posted by: Matt at September 28, 2003 12:44 PM
I actually enjoyed Underworld. Not a 'great' movie. But I felt it was worth my 7.50 (or my boyfriends 7.50, rather). And I would venture to say, I will more than likely buy it when it comes out on DVD.
Posted by: Mici at September 29, 2003 1:05 PM
On the other hand, you were actually trying to smuggle food into the movie theater.
Still, I do the same thing. I figure it's not ripping them off becuase there's no way in hell I'm paying $2.50 for a Snickers bar, so I wasn't going to buy their food anyhow.
I often attend a local drive-in theater. The admission price is cheaper, AND the food is reasonable priced. Go figure.
Posted by: Ken at September 29, 2003 4:31 PM
Well the thing is I want to see a movie without having to give away my rights against unreasonable search and seizure. This is my forth amendment rights and I have no plans to give that up for any damn movie theater.
( http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Constitution/Amendment_Four )
Posted by: Jake at September 29, 2003 4:44 PM
I think it was fate that saved you from the horrid pile of monkey poo that is Underworld! The film was poor in my opinion.
Wa-da-tah!
Posted by: SnakeGhost at September 30, 2003 9:50 AM
Nice rant. I can't stand when things don't make sense (The purse/ courier bag situation). Sad when you go to enjoy a film and the rules there are like high school all over again..
But I digress. Round here, at the theatre I go to (admittedly not very often), usually if you just kinda hold it low, like crotch level, they will just ignore it. Like, an A for effort, enjoy your foreign snacks.
Posted by: WiL at November 10, 2004 11:03 AM
