Jeff Goldblum to play BBQ in New Movie

Jeff Goldblum has signed on to play the central character in the upcoming Hollywood motion picture, "Behind the Ass: The Legend of BBQ." The film is said to be based on the real-life adventures of Seattle video store clerk BBQ, wherein he sleeps with thousands of women, destroys his father's evil plans of global conquest, and saves the universe. Goldblum, who is perhaps best known for his role as Seth Brundle in "The Fly" and Ian Malcolm in "Jurassic Park," is confident in his ability to play the character. "This is a great role for me," commented Goldblum. "I really like this character. When I got into the sweatpants and the Godzilla shirt, it just felt so natural...as if this was the role I was always meant to play." In fact, Goldblum is so sure of his ability to fill the shoes of BBQ that he has already hinted at winning the academy award for best actor. "I've spent a lot of time getting into character. In fact, this last week, I stayed up every night watching Godzilla movies and playing Castlevania. It was fun! Then I went to the video store and threw movies at the customers. That was even more fun!" Hollywood insiders expect the film, which opens this summer, will draw massive crowds. The real BBQ had this to say, "Well if it's anything like the real me, it's gonna be DOPER than Xbox!" We had to agree.