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BBQ: Reborn from Hell with a Fiery Vengeance
Well well, imagine my surprise when I was awakened this morning by the ringing of my home phone. For those not keeping track, I have been without a phone line in my home since I moved about two months ago. For the record, MCI is stupid and they have made my revenge list. Here is a brief transcript of what happened.
February 20th, 2004:
BBQ: Hello, I'm moving at the end of the month. I need to move my service.
MCI: Uh, dude, there's still like ten or something days left until the end of the month. Call back later.
BBQ: Okay, but I want my service moved soon. I don't want to be without a phone.
MCI: There's nothing we can do now. It's way too soon. Call back later.
BBQ: Okay.
February 29th, 2004:
BBQ: Okay, today's my last day here. I'm moving out right now. I need this phone line moved soon.
MCI: Uh, it may take up to 30 days to get it installed.
BBQ: That sucks. Can't it be sooner?
MCI: I understand your frustration sir but we're doing everything we can, or something.
BBQ: Fine. 30 days.
March 29th, 2004:
BBQ: Why doesn't my phone work? You said it would be hooked up in 30 days.
MCI: Well, that move order got cancelled.
BBQ: Why? How did that happen?
MCI: I don't know, but it did. Yep, it sure did.
BBQ: So when can I get my phone hooked up?
MCI: Well, it may be up to another 30 days.
BBQ: That's what you said last time. How can I be sure this won't happen again?
MCI: I understand your frustration sir but we're doing everything we can, or something.
BBQ: God dammit!
April 22, 2004:
BBQ: I still don't have a phone! Are you retarded?
MCI: I understand your frustration sir but we're doing everything we can, or something.
BBQ: Am I ever going to get a phone?
MCI: Whoops, looks like that move order got cancelled again.
BBQ: I hate you! I'm going to give you the fameasser.
MCI: Well you have to wait 24 hours after you cancel an order before we can place a new one.
BBQ: But I didn't cancel it! This is getting very old. I would go to the competition except that they charge more money for equally bad service.
MCI: I truly understand and feel bad for you, or whatever. Call back tomorrow.
BBQ: I guess I will.
April 23, 2004:
MCI: Thank you for calling MCI. How can I help you today?
BBQ: I've been trying to get my #%$#%^! phone line for two *&#@! months and all I get is @?#*$!! This is my third *&@$%!! try!
MCI: Hmm. Maybe I should let you into "priority" customer service.
BBQ: I think that's a good idea.
MCI: Hello, this is priority customer service. We can hook up your phone in five days.
BBQ: No! Sooner!
MCI: Uh, okay. One day.
BBQ: That's more like it. Bye.
MCI: Dumb ass.
And that was five days ago. Today I finally have a phone and am able to access the internet without going to Kinko's. And let me tell you it is a gift. Let this be a lesson to everyone. The phone companies are all evil evil corporations rotten to the core. Curse their black hearts.
BBQ at April 28, 2004 
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Comments
Dear God. It is about forking time. Email me your new phone number so I can add it to my database to hand off the telemarketers.
You ass is going down on Saturday. I have not kicked your ass at video games for too damn long. It is going to sting like Evil Betty and his sharp pointy claws
Posted by: Jake of 8bitjoystick.com at April 28, 2004 4:15 PM
I love this story, it had me laughing so hard. It also sad too. Why are phone companies so dumb? It was a real pain to get internet going where I live, because my stupid roomate insisted on getting DSL from the phone company. One day I'll get cable and it'll all be better.
Posted by: Ian at April 29, 2004 6:19 AM
